Birthing Pains

Faith is small movement slow but steady and sure, holding all experience in a clear circle of compassionate light.   – Kaveri Patel

“Souls reconstructed with faith transform agony into peace.” ― Aberjhani, The River of Winged Dreams

“Birthing is never easy or without pain, be it a universe, a child, or a fresh start in life. Contraction precedes expansion. Darkness comes before dawn. Joy follows pain. This is the way of things.” ― John Mark Green

More than two years ago I began one of the biggest and most challenging creations of my life; a workshop building at my botanical sanctuary and farm.  It seemed easy enough, it was a building after all, how hard was it to create that? I have birthed much more complicated projects over the course of my earthly years.  I was so over confident that I was dismissive of what my gut was telling me, and I had no clear vision of what lay ahead.  I just felt guided to build a garage, a workshop for making my products and teaching, and also needed a small office.  My business was growing and this expansion was required.  I had in my mind a small building that was as eco-friendly as possible.  And I thought that I would save money by being my own general contractor even though, just like with my 1 acre permaculture inspired garden, I had no idea what I was getting into or any real knowledge in building construction!  I felt it would all come together easily because my inner knowing had nudged me in that direction.  How unprepared, enthusiastic and naive I was!

Over the course of 2 and a half years (and counting) I met obstacles and experiences I would have never imagined:  three different builders, four sets of different plans, a raging and bullying neighbour, fully supportive neighbours, a council appeal hearing, extremely restrictive and narrow minded building codes, a building site that required a reinforced foundation, water issues, delays, a change in staff and working directly with six different tradesmen and various companies.  And that is just the highlights! And through it all the costs grew, and grew and grew.  

It was like a chaotic, runaway train, and I watched as my own economical and ecological agenda morphed into something that even now I do not recognize.  I could not understand why it was so difficult when I was creating something to support healing, host community and benefit nature.  Through it all I had to live my life, and continue to trust in my abundance.  My boundaries were tested, I had to re-confirm my commitment and belief in my dream frequently and in my service to humanity which is tied to the farm.   I had sleepless nights, multitudes of self doubt, nail biting stress, fits of sobbing, financial crisis and moments of elation.  I can honestly say I have truly learned the value of perseverance, commitment and resolute faith.  I certainly found out who my friends were too.

Each time I wanted to give up the Universe would support me in some way to say:  Hey lady, we’ve got your back, you are supported and loved.  This is what needs to happen to birth your greatest Creation so dig in and believe in yourself.”  In other words – nothing greater than ourselves is produced without great belief and effort!

The building that now towers on my property is a monumental reminder to me of the energy it took to create a vision that was so much bigger than myself, and most importantly that Spirit wanted me to grow and learn certain lessons in its making.  How the building now looks is not as important as the effort it took to make it, the bonds that were formed, the support I received, how much more empowered I became, and how deep and wide my heart had to stretch to deal with it all.  It required an  incredible feat of personal leadership, and co-creative effort between myself, other humans, Heaven and Mother Earth.  I won some battles, I lost some and I refined my ability to compromise and communicate. I now feel much stronger inside on all levels.   I even taught the tradesmen the word “co-create”, much to their respectful amusement.  As I gaze at the now almost completed building, I am in awe of what it represents to me and my overall purpose.

Like my building process, we are in a world where chaos reigns, and each day we feel it is out of control and something we do not recognize; fear, terror, hate, anger, despair, hopelessness and death surround us, eat away at our faith and seem to encroach on our peace of mind.  The usual ways we would deal with it are not working anymore, our approach to challenges and issues require new thought processes, we must reach out to one another, accept responsibility, own and offer our gifts,  take ownership for our experiences and have the guts to take risk.  Living in this time of ascension requires us to embrace our uniqueness and commit to group coherence at a level that is unprecedented.  And right now a Bold, Unified Vision seems unreachable.

Regardless of what our challenges are right now  in becoming more Whole and contributing to Oneness, it requires us to take a new approach, to be a new kind of human, and to see our reality with a different lens.  Having resistance to change is where the suffering is, thinking it should be easy is the illusion.  The world has always been, and will always be, a chaotic place.  Nature thrives on it and great Creation depends on it.  Like a minefield we must pick our way through our life, step by step, being mindful, hear the pounding of our heart and know that each moment is precious and an opportunity to feel fully alive.  How it all turns out is largely beyond our control.

In fearless creation,


Physical and psycho spiritual symptoms and predictions for February:  February 2nd is Imbolc/Candlemas and the great Earth Wheel turns to embrace more light and the promise of the new.  Put a light in your window so that you can light the way for others!  And think about where you can shine, who you can support, and be grateful for what you have in your life.  This month brings 2 eclipses – great waves of new consciousness and awakening, so know that you are supported to move forward if you use it wisely.  Expect the unexpected, stay poised and ready, and look for the chances, challenges and opportunities coming your way to upgrade and improve your life!  You will continue to fight with yourself on certain levels, but hang in there and know that you are part of creating something so much bigger and better!  Be present in each moment, meet your challenges head on, and then find the time to rest and rejuvenate when you can.  Keeping your balance is part of being Whole!  And spend as much time connecting to the life force of nature as you can.  She will hold you, soothe you and clear your energy field.  

With the eclipse aperatures will also come volatile energy so know that there will be more chaos, death and tragedy.  Hold fast to the beauty and love around you, limit media time and stay compassionately detached.

Expect symptoms of roller coaster emotions, more emotional crisis at night time, vivid dreams, inability to focus, digestive issues, sinus/eye issues, headaches, feeling ungrounded,  kidney and bladder urgency/pain, heart issues.  This is a year to watch your health in the following areas:  colon, lung, liver, heart and small intestines

Recommended Senses of the Soul Products: – in the interest of supporting new consciousness and health, and keeping life simple in these chaotic, uncertain times, I will no longer be posting individual products for each monthly blog post.  Instead I am working on a new project to be announced within the next few months that will support you with more ease of choice on your healing journey!  In the meantime, please feel free to browse my website and shopping cart – if you trust your intuition you will know which products are right for you at this time.  I mail my products and book anywhere in Canada and the U.S.

NEW: Interested in a Soul Chakra Reading? Need clarity and support on your ascension journey? In addition to my clinical appointments I now offer 45 minute intuitive channeled readings regarding one’s dominant chakra, soulful purpose & gifts, life lessons and current challenges.  Please look HERE for more info.

Cosmic Dates for February:

Feb 2 – Imbolc, Candlemas – We begin again, the turning of the cosmic wheel, there is a stirring in the earth, the body, the soul.  A female gateway is opening up – more Feminine energy is entering! The fruits of your labour will start to show up in abundance (money, beauty, hope, friendship, growth) depending on where you have put your effort. Share your abundance and spread the Light.  You may feel wounded, so look to loving your inner self and healing first.

Feb 10 – Full Moon in Leo & Prenumbral Lunar Eclipse -Take charge, ACT, you are the master of your own destiny!  Set the tone, take the first move, and find the discipline to create what you need.  Be present and focused, take a step back if necessary and see the value of who you are so that you can be in your relationships as whole.  Seek solitude and introspection if need be to find your center.  Go out into nature to connect to Oneness.  If need be seek assistance to stand in your authenticity so that you can participate in reciprocity.  The new paradigm is co-creation and requires that we show up as Whole.

Feb 18 – Waning Half Moon in Pisces – If you feel you are straying from your center find balance, then regroup and  find the inner strength, Will and clarity to align all parts of yourself.  You are a work in progress, rebirth takes time.  Continue to share gifts and talents with others, without agenda.  Abundance will naturally flow from this state of being.

Feb 26 – New Moon in Pisces & Annular Solar Eclipse – Your negative projections and woundedness are hampering your ability to heal and be peaceful.  Love and compassion for ourselves and others speed our healing, and rewire our DNA. This can feel like an arduous process.  Any loss you are feeling may feel like an open wound, which needs compassion and time to heal.  
However seeing this pain from a new perspective will give you the wisdom you seek to move forward in your soulful journey. How can you rethink your pain to see the lessons from a spiritual perspective?

Pictured:  Oregon Grape(Mahonia aquifolium) – The Spirit of Oregon Grape supports group consciousness and positive support for community endeavors. It helps the individual sweep away negative projections, allowing an objective view of oneself rather than an idea of what others may think of them. Helps to develop trust for self and others.  Allows one to be accepting of one’s true unique nature and power.

Oregon Grape